It Came From Netflix: Golgo 13 (Collection 1)

I just finished watching the first 12 episodes of the Golgo 13 and I can confidently say it's some of the shittiest anime/television I have seen in some time. Yes, that sentence is insanely douchey and snarky, but it's a fact. While it may be shitty, one thing the Golgo 13 series does have going for it is a mysterious charm. You know it sucks, but you keep watching anyway.  Why?  Why am I enamored with the idea of Duke Togo? He's nothing but a 70's/80's iconic action stereotype who bangs hookers with reckless abandon, he has no emotion,  he's the "world's top hitman", and he's stupid rich.  Okay never mind, I can see why he's appealing now.

I like to think Golgo 13 is tailor made for Spike TV, couldn't you just imagine the pitch?   'What if we told you we could provide you with an edgy animated TV show from Japan that features a stoic hitman, soft-core pornography, and no discernible plot line?'  Guess what?  Soggy britches.

Blatant fan-service aside, there is something about this series (which comes out some 24 years after The Professional: Golgo 13 came out) that seems to make it watchable.  I was having a conversation with a friend on Twitter, well about as much of a "conversation" as you can have on Twitter, and he made an excellent point about the show.  It is very formulaic and predictable.  Togo gets assigned a mission by some organized crime boss to ax some poor bastard, he does it under impossible circumstances, and never gets caught despite a staggering amount of evidence mounted against him.

It's completely ridiculous and that's exactly why I watched it.  Every episode is essentially a carbon copy of the other.  There is no continuity, no flow, questions are left completely unanswered, and so on.  I like to think Golgo 13 is tailor made for Spike TV, couldn't you just imagine the pitch?   'What if we told you we could provide you with an edgy animated TV show from Japan that features a stoic hitman, soft-core pornography, and no discernible plot line?'  Guess what?  Soggy britches.  It's the ideal hyper-masculine horse shit that passes as television on that channel, so why the hell not?

As far as the Golgo 13 "lore" goes, the series and 1983 movie are based on the comic published in 1969 in Japan's "Big Comic". Basically the Shonen Jump of the time only less shitty.  The funniest thing I learned while educating myself about Golgo 13 is that Sonny Chiba actually starred in a feature film as Duke Togo.  I really can't make this shit up, and believe me, I got just as much as nerd boner as you did.

 If there is such a thing as Japanese grind house, (I honestly think all Japanese cinema, with the exception of Kurosawa, could be considered grind house.) I'm almost certain Chiba would be on the forefront of that "scene".  The dude was terrifying, am I right ?  All he did in Street Fighter was shout angrily, kill someone, and then fornicate.  The dude is a rock star.  Golgo 13 is still very popular in Japan as it is still being published in Big Comic.  There are three movies and an anime series (collection 1 includes only the 1st 12 episodes) that ran 50 episodes.  So while the premise may seem shallow and trite, Golgo 13 is awesome in its own way.  You watch it because it's funny and enjoyable, not for anything else.  After spewing nonsense the last few paragraphs, I rather like the show. Imagine that.